A Beautiful (Canine) Mind

       No, this isn't the title for a movie, though if I ever make one--I want Russell Crowe! Oh, behave!--I mean I want him to star in my movie. I even have an Australian Cattle Dog to break the ice on set...and a husband, several children, a minivan. Oh well, a mind is a terrible thing to waste; I keep mine well exercised with an overactive imagination. I keep my dogs' minds exercised, as well. I don't give them challenging math questions, because they might be better at it than me. Its hard enough to have my children able to run rings around my insulted intellect, without having my dogs one upping me to boot. But I know my beautiful dogs, well loved, well fed, healthy and physically fit, still need their minds to be challenged. After all, cushy suburban life doesn't ask much of them. It is up to me to see to it they are safely exposed to a variety of situations and stimulations that keep them thinking.
       I know they are mentally busy, when we are out and about; I see the wheels turning, so to speak, as they identify and respond to all sorts of sensory input. Smells, movements, social opportunities; dogs react to information and in those moments are mentally just beyond our grasp, thinking thoughts that don't include us. Like my daughter as she works out math problems I don't at all understand. What are my dogs thinking, when they are thinking? I don't exactly know. I have a friend, a veterinarian who has been referring his clients to me for many years. He has told a great number of them he believes I was a dog in a past life. He means this as the highest compliment, and I'd hate to disappoint him, but if this is the case, I don't remember. I don't know how it feels to be a dog; I can only guess. But my guesses have been educated by dogs and my observation of them.
       I know we can communicate with our pets on many levels; peoples' preferred communication tools--words--are secondary to the things we are taught they represent. Alone, without associations, words are just noises. I have clients ask me if they need to use a "firm, loud voice" to communicate authority. I explain with an analogy: If I were to say mean things in a harsh voice as I simultaneously gave those people a big bucket of money, they'd like my tone of voice. By the same token, if I spoke softly and said kind things just as I began to strike them, they'd perceive my supposedly "nice" tones of voice as threatening. Unspoken intentions speak loudly to dogs, even without noticeable actions from people; but is this telepathic communication, or are hints being given? Subtle physical changes in posture, in physical tension, in body scents (pheromones), do a lot of our "talking" even when we are unaware of it. I'm quite skeptical of professional "pet psychics" who claim to "know" what dogs are thinking and proceed to explain their thoughts in human terms. Supposedly the dogs tell them exactly what they are thinking, giving visual and emotional pictures to the sensitive and gifted humans. There is a naughty little streak in me that wants to put a professional pet psychic to the test. If it isn't science fiction, it should stand up to a bit of purely scientific scrutiny, shouldn't it? For my experiment I'd set out three bowls of dog food, and ask the pet psychic to ask my dog which food brand smelled the best, and what he thought of the other two. And then ask him which one he intended to eat first. Or maybe I'd go a completely different route and ask the psychic to delve into the dog's past and tell me what color his mother was. I'll admit it; I am a total skeptic. I don't want to be unkind to people who totally buy this, hook, line and sinker. But there is such a thing as going so far out on the limb that it cracks. I'll give the example that inspired this column, which got my mind chewing on all of this in the first place. A published "pet psychic" received a question from a woman who wrote in great concern asking about her missing cat, who had slipped out of the house and not returned. The psychic replied that the cat had gone to check on one of the woman's sick friends at a nearby hospital and would be back in three days, when she was sure the friend was going to be alright. Meanwhile, the cat owner was not to worry; Kitty would come home safe and sound. OK; how was the cat going to know the "friend" at the hospital was OK? Does the cat have telepathic abilities? If so, do they only work within a certain proximity of the supposed hospital? If so, could she ask the cat who the friend was, or where the hospital was, so the owner could check on the cat, and even her friend? Otherwise, why wouldn't the cat just stay home and get the vibe long distance? Why would the cat be concerned about the sick friend, who it wouldn't be able to get into he hospital to visit, and not be concerned about worrying the poor owner sick?
       How is it possible that people want to be so mislead? Why would a wandering animal's behavior need to be explained in such relevant-to-human terms? Why wouldn't it be reasonable that the cat might be wandering about in pure cat hedonism, looking for cat friends? Or visiting a sick cat friend at a veterinary hospital? My concern is that people have accidentally forgotten to really open their eyes and see their animal friends for who they actually are. My concern is people might accidentally be too selfish in all of this. "He loves me for who I am," I hear a lot; "I love him for who he is," I don't hear as often.
       Luckily dogs are social creatures, and most seem to love a party a lot more than a lone wolf adventure. As dogs are thinking dog thoughts and acting upon dog drives, they don't seem to be trying to hide anything or to keep us out of the loop. They are just quicker than we are, when it comes to dog thoughts and the actions that accompany them. For many people a dog must begin an action for them to be able to conclude, by observation, what their pet might be thinking. We love our pet friends, and don't really know what they are thinking, and as a result worry we might not be tending to their needs, or wants, adequately. "Is he happy?"; "Does she like me?"; an observant nonpsychic can make some pretty solid deductions just spending time hanging out with and observing a dog. In fact, much like a really observant poker player, or boxer (humans that hit each other, not the dog breed), sensitive, attentive pet owners learn to read their dog's "tells"--short for telegraphing movements--which allow accurate nonpsychic prediction of what the dog is about to do. This is really very cool for the dog, provided it is used for positive enhancements to the relationship. Having noncanine group members who are nearly as quick on the uptake as another dog would be might--and I say might because this is conjecture--feel pretty close to having a companion you have something in common with. This could be a step into actual empathy and identification with a dog, and I'd be willing to bet that, from the dog's perspective, it would feel pretty good!